predator |ˈpredətər|
noun
an animal that naturally preys on others : wolves are major predators of rodents
• figurative a rapacious, exploitative person or group : her wealth made her vulnerable to predators.
• figurative a company that tries to take over another.
ORIGIN 1920s: from Latin praedator ‘plunderer,’ from praedat- ‘seized as plunder,’ from the verb praedari (see predation ).
It is kind of creepy to think that I am a predator, looking for that person who might be a good catch. I am not hunting for food, just the rush, from the hunt, the anticipation, the endorphins. I am actually not sure what I will do if I catch up to the person. People can change and pursue other roles. I have recognized the rush now for a couple of years, yet still have allowed it to trigger me into thinking maybe I could engage with a person after the chase is over. This happened recently but after about a month of emails, phone calls, texting and an airline and motel reservation to meet in person, I was dropped like a hot rock! I have chased in the hope that we would stop and explore the possibilities, finding similarities and differences drawing us closer, looking towards a long term goal for mutual enrichment.
I spend a lot of time in my mind, a little time in others minds through reading. My life is made of fantasy, dreams, the chase, hard work, chaos. The chase has become less important. It has yielded little over the long term. There is more too. I get bored describing myself as it seems so self centered. I am here, I am human. It seems most run for cover when they sense a predator coming their way. Maybe I have been running from myself. I have recognized my predatory instincts and they are real, but now because I think of them, since they are unmasked it seems easier for me reveal them. It has taken a lot of time. When we think of something, a thought, an idea, it is hard to deny it's existence any longer. Pulling away the denial it seems. The denial is a lie that we keep within us, buried until it becomes to irritating or painful to ignore any longer. Cause and affect.
I accept my lot now and am biding my time, working towards my last great goal. That is the goal to have the means and funds to travel about the countryside visiting with people I have yet to meet and those I have established relationships of mutual benefit with in the not to distant past. Maybe I will be writing about my travels, however, I am not a travel writer as I have seen others to do, lost in their own small world of pleasure and trying to lift themselves above the muck! Or putting all that I have written about my life over time into the bonfire or perhaps a couple of chapters. Maybe when they hear me coming, they will run and lock their doors. Maybe they will recognize me as a friend, from the words I have used, not the words that I have kept hidden for so long.
I spend a lot of time in my mind, a little time in others minds through reading. My life is made of fantasy, dreams, the chase, hard work, chaos. The chase has become less important. It has yielded little over the long term. There is more too. I get bored describing myself as it seems so self centered. I am here, I am human. It seems most run for cover when they sense a predator coming their way. Maybe I have been running from myself. I have recognized my predatory instincts and they are real, but now because I think of them, since they are unmasked it seems easier for me reveal them. It has taken a lot of time. When we think of something, a thought, an idea, it is hard to deny it's existence any longer. Pulling away the denial it seems. The denial is a lie that we keep within us, buried until it becomes to irritating or painful to ignore any longer. Cause and affect.
